Ode to Mathilde Willink | Muse of our Amsterdam

This text was translated using AI and may contain errors. If you have suggestions or comments, please contact us at info.ode@amsterdammuseum.nl.

Dear Mathilde,
 

In the opening of the series Pose, there is a segment in which trans women of color visit a museum in New York to look for beautiful outfits “to borrow” for prom. In one of the scenes, one of them (Angel) recognizes herself in an ancient Egyptian sculpture. That was such a moving scene, it resonated deeply and stayed with me.
 

Two years ago I had the pleasure of touring the Amsterdam Museum in relation to queer history. As I walked through and admired the collection, I was pleasantly surprised to see one of your dresses. It was like a religious experience to see your dress there, as part of the history of this city we both called home. Since then, and on every visit, I go back to it. I stand before your beautiful, long and richly decorated dress, like you stand before a sacred object. Just as the women of Pose saw themselves in the ancient statues, I see myself in the spirit of your dress.

I got to know you in 2020. While zapping through channels, I stumbled upon a documentary about the super-talented Fong Leng and started watching it. As she talked about her art - as she rightly calls her designs - the screen showed images of a very beautiful and flamboyant woman walking casually through the streets of Amsterdam, posing for a painting. There she was: Mathilde Willink. I remember your flamboyant outfit, your long blond mane folded aside in an absurd ponytail, and your makeup that was doll-like and outrageous - even for the 1970s. But most of all I remember your attitude: a girl having fun, just pretending to be an adult. I couldn't stop admiring you. I was hooked and began to investigate you.  

The more I know about your life, the more I think it reflects a part of my life and that of many trans women like me, women who came to Amsterdam in search of happiness and joy in life, for the chance to be themselves. There are so many parallels between your story, my story and the story of my trans sisters. From the lack of love at home, feeling misunderstood and wanting to see more of the world to the love of the beautiful and the feminine.
 

In a similar way to my trans sisters and I, you were not fully human in the eyes of many, but an object to think about, to draw inspiration from or to long for. You had an intense desire to love, to live and to be seen. Though I wonder if the world around you really saw you, or got lost in the fine fabrics of the persona you beautifully constructed. Just as you wonder what lies behind the beautiful photos of trans women on Instagram, I do wonder who Mathilde really was under all your layers.
 

Like many of us trans girls, you couldn't be invisible or belittle yourself even if you tried. Mathilde, you are the perfect example of what it is like to embrace your natural flamboyance and make it work for you. Like us trans women, you rejected established standards and created your own canons. You created your own persona, a muse in the service of art. Yes, I think trans and cis women are works of art. But art must also be understood in its totality, not just in a superficial way. Mathilde, I wonder if you felt understood, or if you felt that people only saw you as an object. A walking and breathing art installation.
 

In the most precise coincidences, your life events after 1975 also resemble the events and low points of my life and those of many in my circles. Amsterdam is certainly hospitable, but sometimes cruel in its treatment of us. The events of your last years, and how you tried to find yourself in the chaos of the unknown, are something I identify with all too well. But let's not dwell on the sad times, let's celebrate your life.
 

You left us at thirty-nine, only to become immortal. Always beautiful, always iconic - a case of a Dorian Gray at the Amstel. Let's celebrate your eternal uniqueness. A fashion icon, a muse to many. Mathilde, like us, you wanted to belong, to be something beautiful to be admired.
 

Mathilde, you are admired, you are forever a muse of our Amsterdam.
 

Today I celebrate the color you gave to this city, the panache and beauty of your uniqueness.
 

Alejandra Ortiz