Ode to Ans Meijer | My nanny mother

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This is for Ans Meijer, dear Ans, my nanny,

It was the summer of 1985, autumn, my mother was moving from Rechtboomsloot to Brandewijnsteeg No. 11. Just around the corner. Mom got pregnant with me, and I was born in November 1986. Mom had to go back to work after a few months and was looking for someone to look after her daughter. Ans lived below us; she was willing to do so. It turned out not to be a chance meeting between neighbor women, Ans responded to an advertisement of my mother in the Amsterdams Stadsblad whether someone wanted to babysit in the Nieuwmarkt neighborhood.'

Ans became my babysitter from year 0. I also went to the nursery but I preferred being with Ans. Ans didn't like the nursery either.

Ans was born at Binnen Bantammerstraat in Amsterdam, December 7, 1944. In my eyes she was a real Amsterdammer. One of gold.

So what is a 'real' Amsterdam? It's hard to put into words, but it gets to the core of someone's being. She was straightforward, had a lovely Amsterdam accent, but was also sweet, sensitive and thoughtful. Spoke no unnecessary words, had her affairs in order. 

I don't have many memories of those early years myself. I do remember throwing candy wrappers on the ground while sitting in the baby carriage, driving along the Zeedijk. I was corrected, of course, that really couldn't be. It made an impression, because I never throw anything on the street.

When we moved in 1990, when I was just 3 years old, Ans kept babysitting, right up to elementary school. My elementary school St. Anthony's was across the street from Ans' house. After school, about 3 days a week, or during recess, I went to Ans. Then I got a currant bun with thick butter and milk, or Fanta. I was also allowed to play with the Barbie's of Lan Kwee, the daughter of her sister Bep. They lived right next door to Ans. Lan Kwee had the most wonderful Mickey and Minnie Mouse collection, her bedroom was full of them. 

Punctually at 5 we went to dinner, macaroni with smack, peaches in syrup, with the 5 o'clock show on and Viola Holt and Catherine Keyl. But also “The Bold & the Beautiful. Then her husband A-Cheng sat in his regular chair watching with a watchful eye. A Chinese man she had met in Amsterdam. Gentle, not up front. Later, when I once developed feelings for a Chinese man, I already knew what time it was.

As I got older, the contact between me and Ans took a back seat. But Mom and Ans kept in touch, calling each other almost every week. We got Marguerites and Dragonflies and mom would get things for Ans in town. We also went to euro Disney together, with Ans, Bep, Lan Kwee, my mother and me. Ans remained part of our life story. 

Ans always had perfectly manicured nails, long, shiny, colorful. I still remember a moment something like 10 years ago, I wanted to pour my heart out to Ans. I came in and she was sitting at the table, she had just painted her nails beautifully. I told about my heartbreak, about someone who was not so kind to me, Ans said “I loved you from the moment I saw you. Straight to the point, straight from the heart.  

Ans is no longer among us. She moved away at the end of her life. Although that was a wise choice in terms of care, it also meant leaving her roots and oh so beloved Amsterdam neighborhood. Ans made Amsterdam my home, the place I love. I don't have any memories of Ans that I would want to miss, they belong to me, to who I have become.

Ans was more than a nanny, she was my nanny mother.

Dear Ans, thank you for taking such loving and good care of me. Your nails were beautiful to the last.

Much love, Jacqueline.