Ode to De Drag Queen - Meiden van Amsterdam | Amsterdam's nocturnal butterflies need to flutter freely

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Dear drag queen,

What a lot you have to put up with.

You used to not be allowed to play with your sister's dolls, not put on her dress-up dresses. Not to walk in mom's heels when she was away from home, not to put on her jewelry in front of the mirror, and not to fantasize that you were a princess. You were allowed to dress up like a clown at school or put on a fake mustache, but not wear lipstick or nail polish. Not grow your hair too long. What else will people think? Why is your voice so high anyway, why do you slouch? Are you gay or something? And don't cross your legs like a woman, but spread them like a man, like a real man. Take up space, as much as you can, preferably at the expense of others.

There are guys who secretly fall for guys. Boys who actually want to be a girl. Boys who aren't boys but aren't girls either. And boys who just occasionally want to play at being a girl. All those poor boys are still too often restricted and reprimanded. A boy should not appear feminine. After all, in this patriarchal world, masculinity is the holy grail, so why waste that privilege and status? On the contrary, in this misogynistic world, femininity is reviled. In fact, femininity, according to conservative men, is so dangerous that they do everything they can to curb its power.

Madonna's song “What It Feels Like For A Girl” (2000) opens with an excerpt from the film “The Cement Garden” (1993). In it, actress Charlotte Gainsbourg says:

Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short

Wear shirts and boots

‘Cause it’s okay to be a boy

But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading 

‘Cause you think that being a girl is degrading 

But secretly you’d love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? 

What it feels like for a girl

Is that the taboo that men do not want to acknowledge; that they sometimes long to get into the skin of a woman? Are they afraid it might please them too much? There are also men who do give in to their need. They play the role with verve, and often feel stronger (and more beautiful) than if they were playing their imposed male role. Drag queens like you are the goddesses of the night. Dark clubs are illuminated by your colorful appearance. Through the enchantment of your performances and humor, we forget our worries. We laugh together, we dance together. A nightlife without drag queens is like a beautiful museum hall without art.

When I watch the talent show RuPaul's Drag Race, I see how much pain and effort goes into creating that work of art. Beard and body hair are shaved, bushy eyebrows disappear under some glue, and male genitals are tucked away. You spend hours in front of the mirror; but no longer on the sly, no longer with shame. Carefully you apply layers of makeup, changing the shapes of your face to a more feminine one. You bought a new outfit, or made it with your own hands. You put on your wig, finish the look with glittering jewelry and high heels, and are ready for the show.

Your art form deserves respect and admiration because you add color to a drab world. But unfortunately, I hear that you and your sisters are still too often in danger. The women of Amsterdam are harassed by men, but so are the “girls” of Amsterdam. City resident Jennifer Hopelezz raised the alarm several times because she and other drag queens are refused by cab drivers, or harassed during a ride. While the cab should be a safe armor against the abusive behavior and violence; in the streets and on public transportation. The moths of Amsterdam should be able to flutter freely.

Drag queens play with gender, especially in an era when all conversations about that topic are heavy and fraught. You show young people what forms of gender expression are possible. But that is being framed by the far right as indoctrination. As a result, conservative parents rebel against inclusive education, and against drag queens reading innocent stories, because this would sexualize youth. When Ma'Ma read to Queen children at the Rotterdam library, there was an angry crowd outside protesting, supposedly for the good of children. Who is setting a bad example?

These are bleak times for women, queer persons, and people of color. Our rights and freedoms are once again under pressure, and we must once again arm ourselves against those rigid, white, heterosexual, cisgender, masculine, and above all, unimaginative norms. But keep courage, dear drag queen, and don't let anything or anyone throw you off track. You are SO much needed. Women teach me to be a better man, but you teach me to be a freer man. Thanks to you, instead of trying my best to fit into the perfect picture of masculinity, I want to color my canvas with all the colors of the rainbow - and lots of glitter.
 

Love, Haroon